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"Give a man a finger, he'll put a wedding ring on it!"
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development

"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
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Personal Development
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"I've been to many beauty salons. No one gave me a certificate."
Society

"In search of myself, I have created myself."
Self-Growth

"If you don't understand it, it's art."
Art

"People strive to be ahead of time just to get a chance to trip it."
Society

"In women he doesn't trust! He is an atheist."
Philosophy

"It's not over till the fat lady eats!"
Humor

"While the truth is putting on its shoes, the lie becomes a champion of a long-distance running."
Reality

"What does your birth date say about you? You are old!"
Humor

"While the man is putting on it's shoes, the woman can buy dozens of high heels."
Society

"Selfie-centered person!"
Psychology
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