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Mitch Hedberg

"Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down."

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"Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down."

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Akiroq Brost

"One cannot be deeply responsive to the world without being saddened very often."

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"He not busy being born is busy dying."

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Akiroq Brost

"Initiative is doing the right thing without being told."

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Akiroq Brost

"Being is more important than doing."

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Akiroq Brost

"Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent."

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Akiroq Brost

"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light."

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Akiroq Brost

"Gentlemen, we are being killed on the beaches. Lets go inland and be killed."

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Akiroq Brost

"The nobility of a human being is strictly independent of that of his convictions."

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Akiroq Brost

"You cannot be a hero without being a coward."

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Akiroq Brost

"The surest method of being incomprehensible or, moreover, to be misunderstood is to use words in their original sense; especially words from the ancient languages."

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

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Mitch Hedberg
"I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."
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Mitch Hedberg
"If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."
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Mitch Hedberg
"Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes."
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Mitch Hedberg
"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."
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Mitch Hedberg
"Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."
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