"Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down."

Being, Day, Trying

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"Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down."

Exlpore more Being quotes

"There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world."

Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish Writer

Being, Benefits, Duty, World

"Great is the difference betwixt a man's being frightened at, and humbled for his sins."

Thomas Fuller, English Clergyman

Being, Difference, Man

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."

C. S. Lewis, British Author

Being, May, Present, Sight

"The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down."

George Eliot, British Author

Being, Years

"It's like being a Knight of the Garter. It's an honor, but it doesn't hold up anything."

Fulton J. Sheen, American Clergyman

Being, Honor, Knight

"The nobility of a human being is strictly independent of that of his convictions."

Jean Rostand, French Scientist

Being, Nobility

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."

George MacDonald, Scottish Novelist

Being, Compliment

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

Friedrich Nietzsche, German Philosopher

Being, Lonely, Privilege, Struggle

"It is a common enough case, that of a man being suddenly captivated by a woman nearly the opposite of his ideal."

George Eliot, British Author

Being, Man, Woman

"And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness."

T. S. Eliot, American Poet

Being, Books

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."

Time

"When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away."

Saying

"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"

Wrong

"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."

Time

"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."

Love

"My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set."

Sister

"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

Business

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Exlpore more Being quotes

"There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world."

"Great is the difference betwixt a man's being frightened at, and humbled for his sins."

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."

"The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down."

"It's like being a Knight of the Garter. It's an honor, but it doesn't hold up anything."

"The nobility of a human being is strictly independent of that of his convictions."

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

"It is a common enough case, that of a man being suddenly captivated by a woman nearly the opposite of his ideal."

"And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness."

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work."

"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."

"I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people."

"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."

"When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away."

"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"

"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."

"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."

"My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set."

"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."