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"We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself."
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"The real evil of the Russian communist state is not communism. It is the secret police and the concentration camp."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Dictators must have enemies. They must have internal enemies to justify their secret police and external enemies to justify their military forces."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Look at the Paris Commune. That was the Dictatorship of the Proletariat."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It could be that all awful dictators are frustrated artists - Mao with his poetry and Mussolini with his monuments. Stalin was once a journalistic hack, and I can personally testify to how frustrated they are. Pol Pot left a very edgy photo collection behind. And Osama seems quite interested in video."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev."
Love
"I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice."
Country
"Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason."
People
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"
Baseball
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
Gay
"When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'"
Answers
"We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins."
Years
"The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery."
Right
"Cricket is basically baseball on valium."
Baseball
"You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks."
Drink
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