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Jonathan Safran Foer

"I know a lot about birds and bees, but I don't know very much about the birds and the bees. Everything I do know I had to teach myself on the Internet, because I don't have anyone to ask. For example, I know that you give someone a blowjob by putting your penis in their mouth."

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"I know a lot about birds and bees, but I don't know very much about the birds and the bees. Everything I do know I had to teach myself on the Internet, because I don't have anyone to ask. For example, I know that you give someone a blowjob by putting your penis in their mouth."

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Asa Don Brown

"I know a lot about birds and bees, but I don't know very much about the birds and the bees. Everything I do know I had to teach myself on the Internet, because I don't have anyone to ask. For example, I know that you give someone a blowjob by putting your penis in their mouth."

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Asa Don Brown

"I stay neutral with homosexuality, I neither support nor condemn it. But if people are happy with it we must not interfere."

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Asa Don Brown

"The second orgasm has a biblical connotation."

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Asa Don Brown

"Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires."

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Asa Don Brown

"Women have to be in the mood for sex. Men have to be breathing."

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Asa Don Brown

"When [beauty pornography is] aimed at men, its effect is to keep them from finding peace in sexual love. The fleeting chimera of the airbrushed centerfold, always receding before him, keeps the man destabilized in pursuit, unable to focus on the beauty of the woman--known, marked, lined, familiar--who hands him the paper every morning."

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Asa Don Brown

"When I date women now, I have learned to simply not care what they think about it. I'm the same person I always have been. Faithful. Dependable. Kind. Sweet. Funny. Awesome. And if they want to discount me because of something as insignificant and irrelevant as me experiencing attraction to men as well, then they don't get me in their lives. They don't deserve me."

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Asa Don Brown

"It's astonishing the amount of time that certain straight people devote to gay sex - trying to determine what goes where and how often. They can't imagine any system outside their own, and seem obsessed with the idea of roles, both in bed and out of it. Who calls whom a bitch? Who cries harder when the cat dies? Which one spends the most time in the bathroom? I guess they think that it's that cut-and-dried, though of course it's not. Hugh might do the cooking, and actually wear an apron while he's at it, but he also chops the firewood, repairs the hot-water heater, and could tear off my arm with no more effort than it takes to uproot a dandelion."

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Asa Don Brown

"Sexual thoughts float through a man's brain many times a day, while on the contrary a woman has them only one to four times a day."

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Asa Don Brown

"A woman isn't a whore for wanting pleasure. If it were unnatural, we would not be born with such drives."

Explore more quotes by Jonathan Safran Foer

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Jonathan Safran Foer
"Kids are a great analogy. You want your kids to grow up, and you don't want your kids to grow up. You want your kids to become independent of you, but it's also a parent's worst nightmare: That they won't need you. It's like the real tragedy of parenting."
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Jonathan Safran Foer
"Are you an optimist or a pessimist?" "I can't remember. Which?" "Do you know what those words mean?" "Not really." "An optimist is positive and hopeful. A pessimist is negative and cynical." "I'm an optimist." "Well, that's good, because there's no irrefutable evidence. There's nothing that could convince someone who doesn't want to be convinced. But there is an abundance of clues that would give the wanting believer something to hold on to."
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Jonathan Safran Foer
"It shouldn't be the consumer's responsibility to figure out what's cruel and what's kind, what's environmentally destructive and what's sustainable. Cruel and destructive food products should be illegal. We don't need the option of buying children's toys made with lead paint, or aerosols with chlorofluorocarbons, or medicines with unlabeled side effects. And we don't need the option of buying factory-farmed animals."
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Jonathan Safran Foer
"I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it."
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Jonathan Safran Foer
"Nothing goes away. Not on its own. You deal with it, or it deals with you."
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Jonathan Safran Foer
"Because sometimes people who seem goodend up being not as good as you might have hoped."
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Jonathan Safran Foer
"In my dream, people apologized for things that were about to happen, and lit candles by inhaling."
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Jonathan Safran Foer
"I imagine a line, a white line, painted on the sand and on the ocean, from me to you."
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Jonathan Safran Foer
"I am always sad, I think. Perhaps this signifies that I am not sad at all, because sadness is something lower than your normal disposition, and I am always the same thing. Perhaps I am the only person in the world, then, who never becomes sad. Perhaps I am lucky."
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Jonathan Safran Foer
"Songs are as sad as the listener."
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