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Wilson Mizner

"Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished."

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"Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished."

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"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."

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"The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down."

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"It's like being a Knight of the Garter. It's an honor, but it doesn't hold up anything."

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"The nobility of a human being is strictly independent of that of his convictions."

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"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."

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"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

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"It is a common enough case, that of a man being suddenly captivated by a woman nearly the opposite of his ideal."

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"And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness."

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"In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork."
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"A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune."
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"To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it."
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"I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own."
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"Most hard-boiled people are half-baked."
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"Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest."
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"Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down."
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"A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant."
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"Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something."
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"If you count all your assets you always show a profit."
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