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"Author's WarningIf you're buying this book as a gift for your grandma or a kid, you should be aware that it contains cusswords as well as tasteful depictions of cannibalism and people in their forties having sex. Don't blame me. I told you."
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"The best source for finding an agent is called Literary Agents of North America. It's a complete list of agents, not only by name and address, but by type of book they represent and by what their submission criteria are."
"I'm a professional writer and I consider it part of my job to publicise my work and these days part of that job is done online."
"I was publishing when I was 20, 21. And it really never stopped."
"All of the changes in publishing since 1960 are significant. There are far fewer publishers."
"The biggest threat to authors in this age is not plagiarism or poverty, it's obscurity."
"The trick was really finding the appropriate publisher for each of the projects I'd devised."
"The breadth of the potential readership is also a factor."
"The key factor is whether the agent is a member of the Association of Authors' Representatives, which screens its members and requires them to uphold a Canon of Ethics."
"I lived through a classic publishing story. My editor was fired a month before the book came out. The editor who took it over already had a full plate. It was never advertised. We didn't get reviewed in any major outlets."
Explore more quotes by Christopher Moore
"Rivera rubbed his temples. 'Satan told you to do it?' he said wearily.'No.''Elvis?''I told you, it's supernatural."
"I'm feeling full of tiny princes, bustling to get out into the world and start plotting against one another."
"Blessed with the Beta Male imagination, he spent much of his life squinting into the future so he might spot ways in which the world was conspiring to kill him..."
"Does the work get easier once you know what you are doing?''Your lungs grow thick with stone dust and your eyes bleary from the sun and fragments thrown up by the chisel. You pour your lifeblood out into works of stone for Romans who will take your money in taxes to feed soldiers who will nail your people to crosses for wanting to be free. Your back breaks, your bones creak, your wife screeches at you, and your children torment you with open begging mouths, like greedy baby birds in the nest. You go to bed every night so tired and beaten that you pray to the Lord to send the angel of death to take you in your sleep so you don't have to face another morning. It also has its downside."
"As much as I encourage communication with my readers, I don't want reviews from them, simply because I don't need to be hamstrung in the middle of working on something."
"On the radio, turned low, Reba sang of hard times with the full authority of a cross-eyed redheaded millionaire."
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