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"School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man."
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"Dr. Johnson was a lazy learned man who liked to think and talk better than to read or write; who, however, wrote much and well, but too often by rote."
"When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package."
"After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands."
"The best of men cannot suspend their fate: The good die early, and the bad die late."
Explore more quotes by Chris Rock
"If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty."
"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity."
"Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them."
"Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing."
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