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"My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81."
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"We sometimes laugh from ear to ear, but it would be impossible for a smile to be wider than the distance between our eyes."

"A miscreant with coiffed, scented hair, a slender waist, the hips of a woman and the chest of a Prussian officer, with a finely tied cravat, by all girls admired."

"If you have a good sense of dressing, there wouldn't be any need to spend a fortune to look good."

"The beggar is the only person in the universe not obliged to study appearance."

"A beautiful lady with an evil heart is like a hundred dollar note cut in two with one piece missing."

"Has a woman who knew that she was well dressed ever caught a cold?"

"Your face, my thane, is as a book where menMay read strange matters. To beguile the time,Look like the time; bear welcome in your eye,Your hand, your tongue: look like the innocent flower,But be the serpent under't."

"Dye your hair, certainly. But what can you do for your face?"

"Kai neared his desk again, seeing that the fugitive's profile had been transferred to the screen. His frown deepened. Perhaps not dangerous, but young and inarguably good-looking. His prison photo showed him flippantly winking at the camera. Kai hated him immediately."

"I see a little better grooming. Some might even be trying a little powder."
Explore more quotes by Garry shandling

"I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front."
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