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"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."

"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."

"Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar."

"I've broken my nose, I've broken ribs. You name it. In fact, we just got back from South America, and I fell over a monitor speaker on the stage and almost ended up in the front row of the audience. I managed to sprain my wrist on that one but luckily nothing was broken."

"If the Christians who were alive in the 1770s behaved and believed like the Christians of today, there wouldn't be an America as we know it."
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