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"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
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"True friendship is a house where we can take off our masks."
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Personal Development
"To lose a worthless friend is worthy of a testimony."
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Personal Development
"A true friend is a reflection of yourself."
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Personal Development
"Good fences make good neighbors, and these were apparently good enough that they had not felt the need for razor wire at the top. I crested the fence, threw myself into the yard beyond, fell, rolled to my feet, and ran with the expectation of being garroted by a taut clothesline.I heard panting, looked down, and saw a gold retriever running at my side, ears flapping. The dog glanced up at me tongue rolling, grinning, as though jazzed by the prospect of an unscheduled play session."
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Personal Development
"I to myself am dearer than a friend."
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Personal Development
"One friend in a storm is worth more than a thousand friends in sunshine."
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Personal Development
"A friend is someone who will always be there for you, in good and hard times."
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Personal Development
"Don't appreciate me, I'm not up to it. Don't criticize me, I don't deserve it. Just be my friend and forgive me, because I am craving for it."
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Personal Development
"If you fulfill God's will, then God will always be your friend."
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Personal Development
"Friendship, neglected, is like a flower deprived of water and sunlight."
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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."
Argument
"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."
Press
"Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?"
Washington
"Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen."
Ocean
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
Time
"I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."
Home
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it."
Want
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."
Worry
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