top of page
.png){kind=small}
"With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke."
Standard
Customized
More
"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Some people break promises for the pleasure of breaking them."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
Holiday
"I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down."
History
"I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy."
Day
"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"
Home
"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet."
Thought
"People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway."
Funny
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'""
Car
"Black beauty - he's a dark horse."
Beauty
"Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."
Father
"Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds."
Now
bottom of page