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"Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character."
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"The psychoanalysis of neurotics has taught us to recognize the intimate connection between wetting the bed and the character trait of ambition."

"Always the wild child, conceived in flames, born of fire. Drawn to the forbidden, witch, warlock, burning stones. Her blood is made of moonlight; part dark, part light. Her heart, it's a sword; fiercely loyal and will fight to the death for those whom she loves. You can throw her in the fire, she always returns as a flame: the fervor is her anchor, her safe-haven... her blood."

"Playing the part of a charitable soul was only for those who were afraid of taking a stand in life. It is always far easier to have faith in your own goodness than to confront others and fight for your rights. It is always easier to hear an insult and not retaliate than have the courage to fight back against someone stronger than yourself; we can always say we're not hurt by the stones others throw at us, and it's only at night - when we're alone and our wife or our husband or our school friend is asleep - that we can silently grieve over our own cowardice."

"A sweet soul will take you further than a sweet tongue."

"To see a man's true colors, tell him you're saving yourself for marriage. To see a woman's true colors, tell her you're poor."

"Of Manners gentle, of Affections mild; In Wit a man; Simplicity, a child."

"An evil person will have evil friends. A righteous person will have righteous friends. The company you keep is hidden treasure or masked demise."

"Martial arts is not about fighting; it's about building character."
Explore more quotes by Stephen Colbert


"I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way."


"You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians."


"In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'"


"In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars."


"Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a new thing, but it's certainly a current thing, in that it doesn't seem to matter what facts are. It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything."


"I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law."
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