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"Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character."
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"When I say "no" to some activities that I believe are ungodly, some people say I am "nobody". Yes, I agree", "no" body; that's who I am. I am a "body" that can say "no" to bad attitudes!"

"Lots of people use good character and moral standing as a brand name. They know it's what people like, they want people to like them, so they wear it as one would wear a quality brand shirt. Putting it on in the morning and taking it off at the end of the day. Saying all the things they know people want to hear. If they were the very last person on Earth, there would be no reason for them to be of good character, because nobody would see it."

"One of the characteristics of humility is the ability to take the second place without striving for self-promotion."

"The more success a person has in life, the greater the danger of fornication can become."

"People with self-respect have the courage of their mistakes. They know the price of things."

"Always the wild child, conceived in flames, born of fire. Drawn to the forbidden, witch, warlock, burning stones. Her blood is made of moonlight; part dark, part light. Her heart, it's a sword; fiercely loyal and will fight to the death for those whom she loves. You can throw her in the fire, she always returns as a flame: the fervor is her anchor, her safe-haven... her blood."
Explore more quotes by Stephen Colbert


"In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'"


"In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars."


"I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way."


"You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians."


"Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a new thing, but it's certainly a current thing, in that it doesn't seem to matter what facts are. It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything."


"I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law."
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