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"Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers."
People
"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"
Time
"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up."
Iraq
"You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch."
War
"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."
God
"Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day."
Father
"The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up."
Crime
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
Men
"If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates."
God
"I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder."
Work
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"That most limited of all specialists, the "well-rounded man"."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The world system is employment."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Police officers are poorly paid for a very stressful job that has them in very high powered radio frequency (RF) fields and in a daily environment that may result in them being assaulted, maimed or killed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A butler supplies food to nourish your body, but a writer nourishes your mind through writing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was cranked to a fifth gear, and everything I did, I did on a deadline."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Do not be weary to make money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My favourite all-time work of fiction: Lord of the Rings. My favourite all-time nonfiction book: Guns, Germs, and Steel. Ask me again next week, you'll get a different answer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Work was intended not to give a man a reason to live, but rather to give him a means to live."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Next to us is not the workman whom we have hired, with whom we love so well to talk, but the workman whose work we are."
Author Name
Personal Development
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