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"Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive."
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"The night creeps in by subtle degrees while a show of fierce colors attracts and distracts me. I look up, suddenly aware of remote lights scattered overhead. I gasp as the last streak of fire dies on the horizon, and I comprehend it all too late. That crafty, dark night has swallowed my world whole."
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Personal Development
"I'd still prefer to do five nights at a club than one night at Allstate Arena."
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Personal Development
"If it comes back, I think that Friday night is not a good night to be on."
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Personal Development
"Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder how I do these things. I can embarrass myself so badly that I literally get a hot prickle down the back of my neck."
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Personal Development
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
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Personal Development
"Stood off and on during the night, determining not to come to anchor till morning, fearing to meet with shoals; continued our course in the morning; and as the island was found to be six or seven leagues distant, and the tide was against us, it was noon when we arrived there."
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Personal Development
"I feel my shows are like a late-night talk show that we settle down and do every night."
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Personal Development
"It is always consoling to think of suicide: in that way one gets through many a bad night."
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Personal Development
"The two hours onstage is great. But I can only play a show and then take a night off. I have to sing for two hours, and then I've gotta rest it for a night. So it's the other 46 hours that are just boring as heck."
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Personal Development
"His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum."
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"Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it."
Sex
"You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it."
Trust
"Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again."
Children
"Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad."
Animals
"I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming."
Habit
"If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind."
Prosperity
"Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times."
Drink
"If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon."
Life
"I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home."
Home
"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."
People
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