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"I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy."
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"Texas will again lift it's head and stand among the nations. It ought to do so, for no country upon the globe can compare with it in natural advantages."

"I would die for my country but I could never let my country die for me."

"Our first Prime Minister saw a country that would be known for its generosity of spirit. And so it is."

"On my passage thither, I discovered nothing remarkable in the features of the country."

"Yet, Puerto Rico's economic convergence and political integration with the rest of the nation is in a state of arrest - even though the island has been within the national borders, political system and customs territory of the U.S. for a century."

"As the highest ranking American official in the United Nations organization, I came to understand thoroughly that the national constitutional processes of the member states define the status of territories under their sovereignty."

"If a foreign country doesn't look like a middle-class suburb of Dallas or Detroit, then obviously the natives must be dangerous as well as badly dressed."

"I'm not a politician. I'm not a lawyer. I'm just a country boy."

"Every one of my positions cuts - out half the country. I'm pro-choice, I'm pro-gay rights, I'm pro-immigration, I'm against guns, I believe in Darwin."
Explore more quotes by Joseph Heller

"Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck."

"When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as "Catch-22" I'm tempted to reply, "Who has?""

"But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents."

"I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long."

"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."

"I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private individuals."

"Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about."
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