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"George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil."
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"The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read."
"You speak of Lord Byron and me; there is this great difference between us. He describes what he sees I describe what I imagine. Mine is the hardest task."
"Rearranging furniture, adding some candles, or making even small tweaks can really make the difference."
"The value of an item - in the mind of a consumer - is simply the difference between the anticipated price and the price on the tag."
"I had to tell about my colonic, which expresses the fact why I'm so neat today as opposed to a few years ago. I never knew that the weight made that much difference."
"The difference between Socrates and Jesus? The great conscious and the immeasurably great unconscious."
"I recently reread an article of mine written in 1964, and I think it is still valid. There is not much difference. Many of the items on the agenda 37 years ago are still there."
"Colour does not make so much difference. Look at the Bach Chaconne: There is not one dynamic mark in the whole Bach Chaconne. Colours do not make so much difference."
"There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad."
"They hate you not because of what you have done but because of who you are; you are different from who they are, and you are occupying the ground they want for themselves."
Explore more quotes by Patton Oswalt
"I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes."
"I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form."
"I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage."
"I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything."
"I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see."
"Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period."
"90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on."
"I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians."
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