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"Not a lot of conservatives on this list. Are more liberals than conservatives screwing up America?"
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"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."

"America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks."
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"The Iraqis have once again failed to meet a deadline for a final draft of the constitution."

"It usually takes two people a little while to learn where the funny buttons are and testy buttons are."

"I get letters from women, and they say, 'I love your Roman nose.' If I weren't on TV and I walked past that same woman, she'd go, 'Did you see the beak on that guy?"

"Not a lot of conservatives on this list. Are more liberals than conservatives screwing up America?"
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