"I get letters from women, and they say, 'I love your Roman nose.' If I weren't on TV and I walked past that same woman, she'd go, 'Did you see the beak on that guy?"

"Not a lot of conservatives on this list. Are more liberals than conservatives screwing up America?"

"It usually takes two people a little while to learn where the funny buttons are and testy buttons are."

"The Iraqis have once again failed to meet a deadline for a final draft of the constitution."