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"Written on her tombstone: 'I told you I was sick."
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"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
Author Name
Personal Development
"GreenHollyWood is a bad character, fat, liking jokes, liking jokes about size, about the large, about the how big are you. Likes to laugh when you make a mistake, ... but but he is a teacher?! With a glasses a fat guy!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"They lack suggestive power. And when a book lacks suggestive power, however hard it hits the surface of the mind it cannot penetrate within."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Epic sex?" I sputtered. "By what standards, precisely, is sex judged to be epic?""And tons and tons of mortal simps like you used as pawns." Bob sighed happily, ignoring my question. "There are no words. It was like the Lord of the Rings and All My Children made a baby with the Macho Man Randy Savage and a Whac-A-Mole machine."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Laughter can deflate almost any problem down to its proper size."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I laugh for sheer medicinal purposes, because I feel I might die otherwise."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Rest assured you make perfectly good nonsense. I understand you one-hundred-percent not at all."
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Personal Development
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"On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings."
Vacation
"I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes."
Society
"Written on her tombstone: 'I told you I was sick."
Humor
"The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one."
Chaos
"I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up."
Computer
"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say 'Yes I've got dreams of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it and yep they're still there. These are great dreams but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line to hold them up and say 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in."
Transformation
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Car
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
Reason
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
Office
"One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is."
Life
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