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"Whiskey will always be a part of my life."
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"I am very grateful for all the opportunities life has given me."

"My mission in life is to be kind, compassionate, caring, sharing and loving in order to feel the deepest joy of life."

"The spirit of life, the spirit of peace."
Explore more quotes by Artie Lange

"When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs."

"Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38."

"And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard."

"The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent."

"It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world."

"A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian."
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