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"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
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"No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney."
Old
"Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno."
Body
"People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine."
People
"It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said."
Race
"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."
Daughter
"New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move."
People
"I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments."
Ladies
"Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed."
Time
"President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?"
Hell
"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
Intelligence
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"Covert operations relied on the unguarded slip, the unconscious choosing of one word over another."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Before I go on with this short history, let me make a general observation" the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise. This philosophy fitted on to my early adult life, when I saw the improbable, the implausible, often the "impossible," come true."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Smartness without wisdom is stupidity."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A researcher that has a brain that functions differently from their peers is at an advantage, as they can see things that the others cannot."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Your complete intelligence is designed to experience the fullness of life, not a narrow omission of its best possibilities."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Emotionally intelligent people can focus their emotions to improve performance and productivity."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Most unintelligent or foolish people do not regard themselves as that, they regard themselves as not-that-intelligent or not-that-wise."
Author Name
Personal Development
"None of us is born a genius, it self-ignites within us."
Author Name
Personal Development
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