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"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
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"Intelligence is not knowledge, but it is a state of mind."
"It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value."
"I listen to them freely and with all the respect merited by their intelligence, their character, their knowledge, reserving always my incontestable right of criticism and censure."
"Foolishness is rarely a matter of lack of intelligence or even lack of information."
"Artificial Intelligence leaves no doubt that it wants its audiences to enter a realm of pure fantasy when it identifies one of the last remaining islands of civilization as New Jersey."
"Legislation passed in the aftermath of September 11, 2001 enhanced our intelligence capabilities and strengthened our national defense, but until now our nation's immigration policies have not adapted to the needs of a post-September 11th world."
"The Intelligence Committee will also examine present counterintelligence programs for the Department of Energy, the National Laboratories, and the Department of Defense."
"Intelligence does not always define wisdom, but adaptability to change does."
"Great minds think alike because a greater Mind is thinking through them."
"Creativity is the highest form of intelligence. Over time, after developing a more advanced creative brain, I started feeling that my college education was more so something to be ashamed of rather than something to be proud of."
Explore more quotes by David Letterman
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
"A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag."
"Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno."
"The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts."
"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
"People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine."
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