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"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
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"Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life."
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Personal Development

"Your complete intelligence is designed to experience the fullness of life, not a narrow omission of its best possibilities."
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Personal Development

"Most unintelligent or foolish people do not regard themselves as that, they regard themselves as not-that-intelligent or not-that-wise."
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"There can be no two opinions as to what a highbrow is. He is the man or woman of thoroughbred intelligence who rides his mind at a gallop across country in pursuit of an idea."
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Personal Development

"Dyslexia is the affliction of a frozen genius."
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Personal Development

"Intelligence without wisdom is nothing more than stupidity that looks smart."
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Personal Development

"Intelligence is dangerous. Intelligence means you will start thinking for yourself."
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Personal Development

"You looked a little bit smarter when your stupidity lessened a lot."
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Personal Development

"It is not that men become too intelligent for God,' says the Apologist, 'but rather they become too arrogant for intelligence."
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"If you want to find wilier race by common sense, then you have just narrowed your searching area."
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"We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours."
Iraq

"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"
Now

"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel."
Experts

"Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger."
Importance

"Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard."
Iraq

"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
Intelligence

"The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral."
Debate

"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
Change

"No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney."
Old

"Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?"
God
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