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"A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House."
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"You know, I come from six generations of college graduates."
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Personal Development
"I never took my SAT's. I never applied to college. I moved right out here and jumped into the thick of things. Whether that was the smart move or not, I'm sitting here talking to you now, so it paid off."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I got out of college in 1997, and TV embraced me very quickly."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm like a bunch of college guys who got together and said, 'Let's make a dude, a crazy dude'."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I started doing stand-up in college."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's clear enough that there was substantial fraud in Ohio, thus delivering the Electoral College vote for President Bush."
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Personal Development
"I throw better than anybody in college and I can throw with anybody in the pros. There, that's what I think."
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Personal Development
"One of the wonderful things about going to a small college is you can get into everything."
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Personal Development
"We have such a high drop-out rate from musicians, said the head of the college. He was right - I dropped out before I even dropped in. Months later they were still asking what had happened to me, not realising that I was on a UK tour."
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"School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man."
Man
"There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments."
Woman
"You don't pay taxes - they take taxes."
Tax
"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity."
Life
"I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson."
Business
"Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders."
Control
"Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them."
Movies
"If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty."
Woman
"Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else."
People
"A man is only as faithful as his options."
Man
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