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"If government were a product, selling it would be illegal."
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"Society has a herd psychology, so until we have more good shepherds we are lost."

"The world is "sick" with loneliness in spite of multitudes of people living in it."

"Take responsibility for the city."

"The essential support and encouragement comes from within, arising out of the mad notion that your society needs to know what only you can tell it."

"No wonder male religious leaders so often say that humans were born in sin-because we were born to female creatures. Only by obeying the rules of the patriarchy can we be reborn through men. No wonder priests and ministers in skirts sprinkle imitation birth fluid over our heads, give us new names, and promise rebirth into everlasting life."

"If you fail to report within the next 12 hours. you will be terminated. If you attack any humans, you will be terminated. If you attempt to remove the tracking device, you will be terminated. We look forward to working with you."
Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

"The more aspects of life that can be moved from private reign to public realm, the better it is for politics."

"There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring."

"We loved cars until the '70s or so. Then they became appliances. They turned into motorized cup holders. Most of it has to do with urban sprawl. What began as pleasure ends up in necessity, as so many things do."

"People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.'"

"I blame feminism and Facebook for the death of the American automobile. I'm a Republican, so I blame everything on feminism - or commies."

"One of the problems with being a writer is that all of your idiocies are still in print somewhere. I strongly support paper recycling."
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