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"Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen."
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Exlpore more Dating quotes
"My wife and I have been together since 1986. I graduated in '86 and she graduated in '88. We began dating when she was 17. Actually she turned 18 when we started kissing and stuff."
"Dating--the socially accepted alternative to the rack."
"We had two rules growing up in my house: If you're going to take a shower, do it with whomever you're dating so you don't waste water; and if you buy one for yourself, buy six, because everybody's going to want one."
Explore more quotes by Conan O'Brien
"Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me."
"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
"CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'"
"Several hard-core Star Wars fans who had tickets for the first showing actually said that when the movie finally began, they started crying. Mainly because they realized that it's 22 years later, and they still haven't lost their virginity."
"Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'"
"Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion."
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'"
"Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans."
"In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani."
"President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isn't that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003."
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