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"I started to do a study on how not to do stand-up comedy. Yeah, it's lonely work. You die, you die alone. It's you, the light, and the audience. If you win, you win big. If you lose, you lose big time."
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"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."
"The value of time is immeasurable."
"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."
"Worrying about what happened on Monday, or, what might happen on Wednesday, is at the expense of one's Tuesday."
"Don't equate effective living to being busy."
"People wish to learn to swim and at the same time to keep one foot on the ground."
"Time passes..and a billion lives are affected in ways we'll never know."
Explore more quotes by Jim Varney
"I'd like to do a piece of Shakespeare. Any upcoming Shakespeare film. Just a bit to say I did a classic."
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