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Clement Freud

"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer."

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"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer."

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Amber Hurdle

"The idea that the creative endeavor and mind-altering substances are entwined is one of the great pop-intellectual myths of our time. ... Substance abusing writers are just substance abusers - common garden variety drunks and druggies, in other words. Any claims that the drugs and alcohol are necessary to dull a finer sensibility are just the usual self-serving bullshit. I've heard alcoholic snowplow drivers make the same claim, that they drink to still the demons."

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Amber Hurdle

"He wanted one drink, and understood precisely why he wasn't going to have one. One drink ended up arriving in a dozen glasses."

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Amber Hurdle

"Drinking is such a necessity to human life that people cannot fathom an individual who, like a child confined to a church pew, gets little enjoyment out of it and would rather do other things."

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Amber Hurdle

"I used to condemn junkies, like they could get off the stuff if they really wanted to, and that is just as stupid as saying, "You could grow eyes in the back of your head if you really wanted to."

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Amber Hurdle

"I dye my jeans jet black once a week, but they never seem dark enough. I bleach my hair bright white twice a month but it never seems light enough. I drink two and a half bottles of champagne every night but I never seem drunk enough. And I know I'm not high enough until someone grabs my face to check my vision to see if I'm still responsive- And even then, I'm thinking to myself that I should probably do one more line, you know, just to be safe."

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Amber Hurdle

"It wasn't so much all the sex that robbed me of my moral bearings, but all the narcotics. I must say, there's something about opium that goes very well with lesbianism."

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Amber Hurdle

"Junk turns the user into a plant. Plants do not feel pain since pain has no function in a stationary organism. Junk is a pain killer. A plant has no libido in the human or animal sense. Junk replaces the sex drive. Seeding is the sex of the plant and the function of opium is to delay seeding.Perhaps the intense discomfort of withdrawal is the transition from plant back to animal, from a painless, sexless, timeless state back to sex and pain and time, from death back to life."

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Amber Hurdle

"Who ever thought to put the word "hero" in heroin?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Everybody smokes! Models, actresses, everyone! Don't they realize that it's gross? I understand it's an addiction, but it still pains me to see my friends do it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I don't ever drink alone. It's not much fun. And I don't think I will until I am an alcoholic."

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Clement Freud
"Congealed fat is pretty much the same, irrespective of the delicacy around which it is concealed."
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Clement Freud
"I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men."
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Clement Freud
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer."
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