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"People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide."
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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

"People do not understand what a great revenue economy is."

"Most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes."

"The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not."
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"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."

"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."

"If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them."

"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
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