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"Look!' said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, 'Someone who cares!"
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"Are you suggesting I'm working with thezombies? That I paid them to pretend toattack me so that I'd trick you into letting me join you?"Did you? Mr. Holland demanded."Yeah, okay, I said in a sugar-sweet tone. "You're right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steaks, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn't tell. In exchange I asked him to gather hisbest undead buddies and stalk me throughmy friend's yard. And oh, yeah, it wastotally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night dinner buffet, because having organs is so last season."

"Great! He has indigestion, so let's torture him with cake."

"You have more issues than Reader's Digest."

"It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs."
Explore more quotes by Eoin Colfer

"Conor, I could search the world for another swashbuckling scientist, but I doubt if I would find one like you."

"Holly clambered after him, struggling up the human-size steps. 'Wait! Just wait,' she called, overtaking Artemis and looking him in the eye from one step up. 'I know you, Artemis. You like to play your genius card close to your chest until the big reveal. And that's worked out for us so far. But this time you need to let me in. I can help. So, tell me the truth, do you have a plan?'Artemis met his friend's gaze and lied to her face. 'No,' he said. 'No plan."

"Orion brightened. 'I have an idea.'Yes?' said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained.'Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other."

"I bet,' said Mulch, 'that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn.'Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything."

"A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder."

"In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter-they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught."
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