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Russell Baker

"Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them."

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"Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them."

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Akiroq Brost

"You can only be twice someone's age once."

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Akiroq Brost

"Forty-two. His age had astounded him for years, and each time that he had sat so astounded, trying to figure out what had become of the young, slim man in his twenties, a whole additional year slipped by and had to be recorded, a continually growing sum which he could not reconcile with his self-image. He still saw himself, in his mind's eye, as youthful, and when he caught sight of himself in photographs he usually collapsed ... Somebody took my actual physical presence away and substituted this, he had thought from time to time. Oh well, so it went."

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Akiroq Brost

"Utility is the great idol of the age, to which all powers must do service and all talents swear allegiance."

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Akiroq Brost

"Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long."

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Akiroq Brost

"Everyone knows that by far the happiest and universally enjoyable age of man is the first. What is there about babies which makes us hug and kiss and fondle them, so that even an enemy would give them help at that age?"

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Akiroq Brost

"What makes old age hard to bear is not the failing of one's faculties, mental and physical, but the burden of one's memories."

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Akiroq Brost

"The horse stares at its captor, barely remembering the free kicks of youth."

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Akiroq Brost

"There is no absurdity so palpable but that it may be firmly planted in the human head if you only begin to inculcate it before the age of five, by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity."

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Akiroq Brost

"Old age is a tyrant, who forbids, under pain of death, the pleasures of youth."

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Akiroq Brost

"It is the malady of our age that the young are so busy teaching us that they have no time left to learn."

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Russell Baker
"You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart."
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Russell Baker
"Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things."
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Russell Baker
"Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down."
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Russell Baker
"Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity."
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Russell Baker
"The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist."
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Russell Baker
"When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools."
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Russell Baker
"Americans like fat books and thin women."
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Russell Baker
"In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses."
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Russell Baker
"Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost."
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Russell Baker
"The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him."
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