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"A lot of girls annoy me who go to university - one girl told me she was going to Oxford because it was something to do between leaving school and getting married. And I've got to pay for that being an income tax payer."
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"One cannot be deeply responsive to the world without being saddened very often."
"If you are not being bullied all I would say - cause I like to talk about the other side of it as well - is you know, be someone that nurtures, and if there's someone in your class that maybe doesn't have a lot of friends, be the person that sits with them in the cafeteria sometimes; be the bigger person."
"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."
"Every human being you see in the course of a day has a problem that's sucking up at least 70 percent of his or her radar."
"You can watch any episode you want and have a compelling story being told."
"One in four children being victimized? That's about seven children in every classroom. That's a significant proportion of the population."
Explore more quotes by Jeffrey Bernard
"There's nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne."
"I don't remember ever being full of dislike and hatred for people, like some kids I've come across now."
"I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974."
"But you've got to have money for comfort, which obviously doesn't matter as much when you're young, but even so. I always like to bloody eat well and be warm. Have a drink when I want it."
"Oh, to me not drinking is like being dead, almost. I sit here taking endless journeys down memory lane. It gets boring."
"Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives."
"It's not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don't forget things like that."
"One of the things that goes with getting older is that one becomes more conservative - and I emphasise that when I use the word conservative I do not mean politically."
"A lot of girls annoy me who go to university - one girl told me she was going to Oxford because it was something to do between leaving school and getting married. And I've got to pay for that being an income tax payer."
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