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"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."
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"America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks."
"Communications is the number one major in America today. CNN had 25,000 applicants for five intern jobs this summer."
Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke
"Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us."
"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power."
"Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce."
"Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy."
"Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there."
"Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper."
"I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived."
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