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"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."
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"America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few."
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Personal Development
"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."
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Personal Development
"America's best buy is a telephone call to the right man."
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Personal Development
"I apologize to coalition forces and all the families, detainees, the families, America and all the soldiers."
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Personal Development
"To be black and an intellectual in America is to live in a box. On the box is a label, not of my own choosing."
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Personal Development
"I went to America on holiday when I was 17 and, before I knew it, I'd been signed up by an agency and had these obligations I didn't understand, but which I couldn't say no to. This industry chose me. But I did choose to make it fulfilling."
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Personal Development
"Watching the scenes out of New Orleans, if you turn down the sound it could be the Sudan or any Third World country. But it's not. it's the United States of America."
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Personal Development
"Even in political considerations, now-a-days, you have stronger motives to feel interested in the fate of Europe than in the fate of the Central or Southern parts of America."
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Personal Development
"I don't cry America. I do not cry. That was a once in a lifetime event. I do not cry, do you understand? I don't cry, okay?"
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Personal Development
"An asylum for the sane would be empty in America."
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Personal Development
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"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
Woman
"Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy."
Government
"You may be surprised to discover you're rich, especially if you're broke."
May
"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."
Nothing
"Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us."
Government
"In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character."
History
"The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?"
People
"I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid."
Experience
"Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper."
Family
"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."
Will
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