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"Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist."
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"Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was born and raised in China, and my parents were missionaries."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something."
Dress
"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."
England
"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."
Night
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Life
"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."
Family
"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."
Night
"Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps."
Worth
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
Love
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me."
Day
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