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"Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."
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"Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind."

"Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties."

"People talk about the courage of condemned men walking to the place of execution: sometimes it needs as much courage to walk with any kind of bearing towards another person's habitual misery."

"Though bachelors be the strongest stakes, married men are the best binders, in the hedge of the commonwealth."

"There have been many great men that have flattered the people who ne'er loved them."
Explore more quotes by Johnny Carson

"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."

"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."

"Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are your ready?""

"Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined."
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