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"Ninety percent of video game AI really is pretty damn bad. I think that's actually why it's so much fun to shoot things. Because the AI is so bad and the characters are so annoying."
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"It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger."
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Personal Development
"Working is hard and distracts from having fun."
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Personal Development
"It's fun to sing sad songs. And it's fun to listen to sad songs. Enjoyable. Satisfying. Something."
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Personal Development
"Frozen yogurt is tastier than ice cream; nobody is too old for cartoons; bald men are sexy; chocolate is the best medicine; BIG books are better; cats secretly rule the planet; and everything should be available in the color pink, including monster trucks."
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Personal Development
"It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified."
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Personal Development
"It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget."
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Personal Development
"I had more fun making Traffic than either of the Ocean's films."
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Personal Development
"It's good to ski for fun, but I still want to win races as often as possible."
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Personal Development
"What's funny about Jesus' Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down."
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Personal Development
"Tell me that the purpose of life is to have fun, and without a care in the world I'll begin wreaking havoc on everything I pass. Now that's what I call pure, honest fun."
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"Chandler's the guy everybody thinks will do well with women, but he thinks too much and says the wrong thing."
Woman
"I'm a sensitive guy. If you are a woman and you're in any kind of emotional duress and you write a song about it, I'll buy you album."
Music
"Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right."
Funny
"Ninety percent of video game AI really is pretty damn bad. I think that's actually why it's so much fun to shoot things. Because the AI is so bad and the characters are so annoying."
Fun
"I've just found out there are pages on the internet dedicated to whether I'm gay or not."
Gay
"I love the idea of "the one" but I actually believe that there isn't a Miss Right. There are 12,000 Miss Rights out there and it's all timing."
Love
"Well, I was lucky enough to be involved in about 19 failures at an early age, so I'm realistic about the success I'm having and how quickly it can go away. What's important is to be smart about it."
Success
"As an actor, being on autopilot is the worst thing possible."
Actor
"The key to sitcom success is miserable people. If you see a happy couple, it's just gone, like when Sam and Diane got together on Cheers."
Success
"After I got my first laugh on stage, I was hooked."
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