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"Our stock in trade is raw, flailing sex."
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"It's fine to have anal sex as long as you're not in high school."

"For lack of a better term, they've labeled me a sex symbol. It's flattering and it should happen to every bald, overweight guy."

"And, of course, they've always condemned dancing. You know, you might touch a member of the opposite sex. And you might get excited and you might do something natural."

"Okay we both know... what happens... with sex... different places... different time... different date... different rooms... the biatch is still bitchy.... very bitchy as pitchy.... The agony - DOOOOOO YOU FEEL IT?- wE JUST PREDICTED THE FUTURE!"
Explore more quotes by Al Goldstein


"For me working on the marriage and not making the easy choice of cheating was something that I could not do."


"Married sex is like being awake during your own autopsy. It is root canal work without anesthetic."


"You need fighters like me to battle, because frankly The New York Times and the Washington Post are not going to fight the fights that I do."


"To date or not to date that is the question. It's almost as important as Shakespeare's to be or not to be which deals with death."


"Even though marriage is doomed, if you turned it into a job you like and really work at it - it can be salvaged."


"I am not a prisoner of my sexuality like men younger than myself although I write about being a prisoner."


"If you cannot work on the marriage or the women is a moron, staying married and cheating makes the most sense because divorce is disruptive to the family life and your bank account."


"Love is a deception and a trap. Love is as big a myth that God sits with his flowing white beard in a throne and looks at us."


"There is a cliche that men want their women to be ladies in public and hookers behind closed doors. I want my woman to be the sharper image robot so that she can be turned off."
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