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Bill Maher

"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

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"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

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Asa Don Brown

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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"Do you genuinely love people? Or at least make an effort to like them? Your first impressions will be made easier and more successful when you start with your heart."

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Asa Don Brown

"People will not remember what you did for living,they will remember how you touched them with kindness and loving."

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Asa Don Brown

"He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves."

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"People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy."

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"No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible."

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Asa Don Brown

"With most people disbelief in a thing is founded on a blind belief in some other thing."

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Asa Don Brown

"There are three categories of people exist in the world; "the wanters", "the wishers" and "the makers."

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Asa Don Brown

"Prune - prune businesses, products, activities, people. Do it annually."

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Asa Don Brown

"Some people bear three kinds of trouble - the ones they've had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have."

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Bill Maher
"I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush."
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Bill Maher
"I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder."
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Bill Maher
"To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that."
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Bill Maher
"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."
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Bill Maher
"Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease."
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Bill Maher
"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"
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Bill Maher
"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."
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Bill Maher
"This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air."
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Bill Maher
"This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution."
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Bill Maher
"The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs."
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