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"I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this."
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"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You're gonna be like Aquaman? she asked. "Get the fish to fight for you?"Thanks, Percy said. "I haven't heard enough Aquaman jokes for one lifetime."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A civil servant doesn't make jokes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I have lots of energy."
Energy
"I get mad at people who talk about traumatic job interviews, about going on one and getting rejected. I get rejected all the time and not only do I get rejected, but people have no problem being really specific about why I was rejected."
Time
"I like going back and writing fiction."
Fiction
"I was on stage and I was like I will pay someone to do my time, not only will I expect NOT to be paid, but I will pay someone if I can run off stage right now. It was so bad."
Time
"I used to think no one should go into show biz, but now I feel differently. I now feel like it's a great career. If you can do it and make money at it and still not be so famous that you can have a normal life - then I think it's a great career."
Life
"I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this."
Jokes
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