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David Letterman

"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."

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"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."

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Asa Don Brown

"As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied."

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Asa Don Brown

"My daughter is here in town doing a play, and her dog is staying with us. We live up in the hills, so he has access to thousands of acres of wilderness."

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Asa Don Brown

"I'm concerned about the insidious influence of the media's bad messages that undermine the lessons parents try to instill in their sons and daughters."

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Asa Don Brown

"It helps when 1 can send the children off to their fathers so I can support my new book with a national publicity tour. I started writing the book when my daughter was 5. It took me almost four years."

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Asa Don Brown

"My daughters have grown up knowing all about my kidnapping and the case and what happened."

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Asa Don Brown

"When it was over my daughter said, 'Oh, I felt so sorry for him - he didn't want to hurt you, he liked you.' That was Victoria. When you visualize him up there on top of the Empire State Building, you do feel sorry for him."

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Asa Don Brown

"It's amazing. I can't believe how brilliant the whole thing is - my daughter, Georgia, is just wonderful."

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Asa Don Brown

"The main cause of my difficulties stemmed from the tragedy of my daughter's unsound birth and my inability to face my feelings."

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Asa Don Brown

"You know, you know, obviously, if my daughter's happy, you know, then I don't have any problem."

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Asa Don Brown

"My daughter is one of the associate producers on two shows for Disney. I am really proud of her."

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David Letterman
"Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?"
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"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
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"People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine."
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"Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno."
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"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel."
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David Letterman
"President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?"
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"A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag."
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David Letterman
"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."
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David Letterman
"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either."
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David Letterman
"The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong."
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