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"How young can you die of old age?"
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"To come across as younger than they are: Women buy creams that promise to slow aging, men buy fast cars."
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Personal Development
"I can't wait to be that age and hanging out with a bunch of people hanging out all day playing golf and going to the beach, all my own age. We'd be laughing and having a good time and getting loopy on our prescription drugs. Driving golf carts around. I can't wait."
Author Name
Personal Development
"American youth attributes much more importance to arriving at driver's license age than at voting age."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I would love a family. I'm at the age where the wish for a child gets stronger. But who knows."
Author Name
Personal Development
"As technology advances, it reverses the characteristics of every situation again and again. The age of automation is going to be the age of 'do it yourself.'"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Why should society feel responsible only for the education of children, and not for the education of all adults of every age?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is well for the world that in most of us, by the age of thirty, the character has set like plaster, and will never soften again."
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Personal Development
"If youth knew; if age could."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is thought."
Author Name
Personal Development
"For age is opportunity no less Than youth itself, though in another dress, And as the evening twilight fades away The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day."
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Personal Development
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"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"
Humor
"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do."
Art
"It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself."
Romance
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
Creativity
"I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!"
Humor
"When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect, then they told me nobody's perfect so I stopped practicing."
Logic
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
Paradox
"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"
Psychology
"I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things."
Influence
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
Comedy
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