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"I missed the boat when I was doing Late Night."
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"One night stands are not for me. I think it's gross when you just give it up."

"One night last summer, all the killers in my head assembled on a stage in Massachusetts to sing show tunes."

"Mick Jagger and I just really liked each other a lot. We talked all night. We had the same views on nuclear disarmament."

"The night I announced I was getting married, Daddy paced for hours on the porch."

"One night Roger was in a foul mood and he threw his entire bloody drumset across the stage. The thing only just missed me - I might have been killed."
Explore more quotes by Chris Elliott

"Somehow, by just continually pestering the general public by appearing on television, they accepted me and wanted more."

"I think the whole idea of me was that I wasn't going to be but that I wanted to be, desperately."

"That's what keeps me up at three in the morning: Who's looking at reviews of Cabin Boy right now?"
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