"Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!"

Men, Day, Today

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"Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!"

Explore more quotes by Jay Leno

"Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers."

People, Actors, Basketball, Magic

"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"

Time, People, America, First

"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up."

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"You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch."

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"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."

God, Apology, Hollywood

"Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day."

Father, Dad, Mother, Wife, Day

"The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up."

Crime, Day, Liberty

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

Men, Court, Religious, Washington

"If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates."

God, Vote

"According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it."

Money, Sex, Will

Exlpore more Men quotes

"Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind."

W. Somerset Maugham, British Playwright

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"What men are among the other formations of the earth, artists are among men."

Karl Schlegel, German Philosopher

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"Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties."

Charles Spurgeon, British Clergyman

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"People talk about the courage of condemned men walking to the place of execution: sometimes it needs as much courage to walk with any kind of bearing towards another person's habitual misery."

Graham Greene, British Playwright

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"Though bachelors be the strongest stakes, married men are the best binders, in the hedge of the commonwealth."

Thomas Fuller, English Clergyman

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"The men who followed Him were unique in their generation. They turned the world upside down because their hearts had been turned right side up. The world has never been the same."

Billy Graham, American Clergyman

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"The greatest enemy to human souls is the self-righteous spirit which makes men look to themselves for salvation."

Charles Spurgeon, British Clergyman

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"A vigorous temper is not altogether an evil. Men who are easy as an old shoe are generally of little worth."

Charles Spurgeon, British Clergyman

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"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

Mae West, American Actress

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"The doctrine that all men are, in any sense, or have been, at any time, free and equal, is an utterly baseless fiction."

Thomas Huxley, English Scientist

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