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"Would a minute have mattered? No, probably not, although his young son appeared to have a very accurate internal clock. Possibly even 2 minutes would be okay. Three minutes, even. You could go to five minutes, perhaps. But that was just it. If you could go for five minutes, then you'd go to ten, then half an hour, a couple of hours...and not see your son all evening. So that was that. Six o'clock, prompt. Every day. Read to young Sam. No excuses. He'd promised himself that. No excuses. No excuses at all. Once you had a good excuse, you opened the door to bad excuses."
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"Once a baby is born, the parents have around one and a half decades to build his or her character and fill the mind with vigour and virtues."
"Tiffany jumped when she saw a balloon sail up above the trees, catch the wind, and swoop away, but it turned out to be just a balloon and not a lump of excess Brian. She could tell this because it was followed by a long scream of rage mixed with a roar of complaint: "AAaargwannawannaaaagongongonaargggaaaaBLOON! which is the traditional sound of a very small child learning that with balloons, as with life itself, it is important to know when not to let go of the string. The whole point of balloons is to teach small children this."
"Don't box your children in and tell them that everything is a sin. You'll produce either rebels, or very boring people."
"Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they'll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer."
"Teach the children compassion and empathy, for all creatures are born selfish."
Explore more quotes by Terry Pratchett
"He was certain he was anorectic, because every time he looked in a mirror he saw a fat man. It was the Archchancellor, standing behind him and shouting at him."
"The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football."
"The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it."
"Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It's a feeling inside that can hardly be contained."
"It is a mystery,' said Detritus.Vimes grinned mirthlessly. It was a mystery. And he didn't like mysteries. Mysteries had a way of getting bigger if you didn't solve them quickly. Mysteries pupped."
"Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes."
"Genuine anger was one of the world's great creative forces. But you had to learn how to control it. That didn't mean you let it trickle away. It meant you dammed it, carefully, let it develop a working head, let it drown whole valleys of the mind and then, just when the whole structure was about to collapse, opened a tiny pipeline at the base and let the iron-hard stream of wrath power the turbines of revenge."
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