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"Prohibition is better than no liquor at all."
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"Prohibition is better than no liquor at all."
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Personal Development
"They liked me so long as the liquor flowed at my house, but I haven't seen any of them around lately."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it."
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Personal Development
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"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
Government
"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."
Man
"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
Funny
"A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people."
People
"The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living."
Education
"I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies."
Enemy
"Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators."
Constitution
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."
Humor
"In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing."
People
"I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat."
Party
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