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"The difficulty with humorists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't-whichever seems likelier to win an effect."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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Personal Development
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"Inspiration arrives as a packet of material to be delivered."
Inspirational
"The inner spaces that a good story lets us enter are the old apartments of religion."
Religion
"Customs and convictions change; respectable people are the last to know, or to admit, the change, and the ones most offended by fresh reflections of the facts in the mirror of art."
Art
"The first breath of adultery is the freest; after it, constraints aping marriage develop."
Marriage
"Every marriage tends to consist of an aristocrat and a peasant. Of a teacher and a learner."
Marriage
"That a marriage ends is less than ideal; but all things end under heaven, and if temporality is held to be invalidating, then nothing real succeeds."
Marriage
"When I write, I aim in my mind not toward New York but toward a vague spot a little to the east of Kansas."
Mind
"Art is like baby shoes. When you coat them with gold, they can no longer be worn."
Art
"The essential support and encouragement comes from within, arising out of the mad notion that your society needs to know what only you can tell it."
Society
"Four years was enough of Harvard. I still had a lot to learn, but had been given the liberating notion that now I could teach myself."
Now
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