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"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit."
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"Christ was only crucified once and for a few hours. Think of the hundreds of thousands whom Christ has been crucifying in a quiet way ever since."
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"I have a great mind to believe in Christianity for the mere pleasure of fancying I may be damned."
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"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
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"Spreading the news is your duty as a Christian, and there are many ways to do this."
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"Almost every sect of Christianity is a perversion of its essence, to accommodate it to the prejudices of the world."
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"It's kind of fun to listen to Christians who say: I'm a New Testament Christian. What other kind of Christian is there?"
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"The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world ugly and bad."
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Personal Development
"America should function as a Christian nation."
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"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important."
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"The Jews and the Arabs should settle their dispute in the true spirit of Christian charity."
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"Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune."
Music
"When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money."
Money
"Men are not punished for their for sins, but by them."
Man
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket."
Money
"The world gels better every day - then worse again in the evening."
Relationship
"There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick."
Nothing
"Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while."
Change
"If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation."
People
"Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people."
People
"Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs."
Life
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