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"Even cats have questions " like "Can't you see my bowl is empty? or "Why don't you turn off the ***! rain now? From their perspective we are gods!"
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"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."
"I laugh for sheer medicinal purposes, because I feel I might die otherwise."
"Extolling the virtues of conservation of energy, Churchill advised, "Never stand when you can sit, and never sit when you can lie down."
"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."
"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."
Explore more quotes by Jay Woodman
"Let us not fear our wild thoughts for they can give rise to wondrous contemplation, creative endeavour, life changing ideas, momentous bliss."
"Words to intrigue, inspire, examine, question, praise; Words to help us appreciate our world, our selves, our games; Words to dance our true soul fires gracefully free."
"Be the calm eye of the storm where nothing phases you, focus on your centre to remain balanced, let your life flow like a stream of wind."
"2015 - the year of infinity - if you add all the numbers up you get 8 - which on it's side is the sign of infinity - and I think it's going to be one hell of a good year for us."
"Who put the S in comic to make cosmic? / The Self, which is the self of all beings - / choosing to disguise from themselves / that everything is just a game. // With a laugh we could turn / from all the seriousness we learned / and connect with every atom to create / breathtaking beauty with graceful ease."
"Breathe in that vital connection to the life source and sensual beauty everywhere. Feel loved and strong."
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