"Even cats have questions " like "Can't you see my bowl is empty? or "Why don't you turn off the ***! rain now? From their perspective we are gods!"

Jay Woodman, British Motivational Speaker

Humor, Cats, Perspective, Animals

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"Even cats have questions " like "Can't you see my bowl is empty? or "Why don't you turn off the ***! rain now? From their perspective we are gods!"

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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Change, Responsibility, Life

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Danger, Irony

"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."

Charles Bukowski, American Author

Humor, Action, Life, Absurdity

Explore more quotes by Jay Woodman

"Chaos is peaceful when you stand quietly & watch - we are eternal observers, reflecting both tiny & vast, singing infinitely within."

Spiritual

"Spiritual counselling is helping people find the deep root of stillness in themselves, which is also a connection to everything else."

Healing

"There are some great positive quotes out there that I can't quite share as I wonder how a victim in a war torn country could be expected to see from their perspective?"

Empathy

"Find what is meaningful to you and stand by it. Even if you begin to wonder if there is any meaning to anything, continue to be yourself."

Meaning

"Be honest with yourself, face your feelings and what they really mean, then you will be able to deal with them and move on."

Healing

"Even cats have questions " like "Can't you see my bowl is empty? or "Why don't you turn off the ***! rain now? From their perspective we are gods!"

Humor

"If the spirit of wonder & curiosity stays alive in us, then surely we will always have new questions, and always expand our creativity in response?"

Inspirational

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."

Explore more quotes by Jay Woodman

"Chaos is peaceful when you stand quietly & watch - we are eternal observers, reflecting both tiny & vast, singing infinitely within."

"Spiritual counselling is helping people find the deep root of stillness in themselves, which is also a connection to everything else."

"There are some great positive quotes out there that I can't quite share as I wonder how a victim in a war torn country could be expected to see from their perspective?"

"Find what is meaningful to you and stand by it. Even if you begin to wonder if there is any meaning to anything, continue to be yourself."

"Be honest with yourself, face your feelings and what they really mean, then you will be able to deal with them and move on."

"Even cats have questions " like "Can't you see my bowl is empty? or "Why don't you turn off the ***! rain now? From their perspective we are gods!"

"If the spirit of wonder & curiosity stays alive in us, then surely we will always have new questions, and always expand our creativity in response?"

"Grace enters the soul where love lies serene."

"Be confident to make your magic."

"We are consciousness playing a game with itself to see how it feels."