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Laurence Sterne

"Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners."

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"Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners."

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Amber Hurdle

"Foulmouthed individuals seem to have their neuron systems replaced by colon structures, given that their terminology profusely consists of "sh*t and f*ck". ['Tolerance zero']"

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Amber Hurdle

"The walls, where there was room, were well decorated with calendars and posters showing bright, improbable girls with pumped-up breasts and no hips - blondes, brunettes and redheads, but always with this bust development, so that a visitor of another species might judge from the preoccupation of artist and audience that the seat of procreation lay in the mammaries. Alice Chicoy...who worked among the shining girls, was wide-hipped and sag-chested and she walked well back on her heels...She was not in the least jealous of the calendar girls and the Coca-Cola girls. She had never seen anyone like them, and she didn't think anyone ever had."

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Amber Hurdle

"Many buy gadgets they don't really need, with money they don't have, for people they don't actually care for, while infringing their corporeal and financial capacities, in order to pay doctors and psychiatrists.['Keeping up with the Joneses']"

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Amber Hurdle

"But whenever one meets modern thinkers (as one often does) progressing towards a madhouse, one always finds, on inquiry, that they have just had a splendid escape from another madhouse. Thus, hundreds of people become Socialists, not because they have tried Socialism and found it nice, but because they have tried Individualism and found it nasty."

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Amber Hurdle

"Back in the day, it was either both a mother and her daughter had pubic hair, or the daughter didn't. Today, in many a case, the mother is the one who doesn't."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is nothing in the record of the past two years when both Houses of Congress have been controlled by the Republican Party which can lead any person to believe that those promises will be fulfilled in the future. They follow the Hitler line - no matter how big the lie, repeat it often enough and the masses will regard it as truth."

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Amber Hurdle

"Will liked to live so that no one could find fault with him, and to do that he had to live as nearly like other people as possible."

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Amber Hurdle

"Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age."

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Amber Hurdle

"If men could only know each other, they would neither idolize nor hate."

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Amber Hurdle

"I used to jog but it's bad for the knees. Too much beta carotene turns you orange, too much calcium gives you kidney stones. Health kills."

Explore more quotes by Laurence Sterne

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Laurence Sterne
"Nothing is so perfectly amusing as a total change of ideas."
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Laurence Sterne
"Only the brave know how to forgive... a coward never forgave; it is not in his nature."
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Laurence Sterne
"I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me."
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Laurence Sterne
"There have been no sects in the Christian world, however absurd, which have not endeavoured to support their opinions by arguments drawn from Scripture."
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Laurence Sterne
"Alas! if the principles of contentment are not within us, the height of station and worldly grandeur will as soon add a cubit to a man's stature as to his happiness."
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Laurence Sterne
"Writing, when properly managed, (as you may be sure I think mine is) is but a different name for conversation."
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Laurence Sterne
"God tempers the wind to the shorn lamb."
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Laurence Sterne
"Pain and pleasure, like light and darkness, succeed each other."
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Laurence Sterne
"One may as well be asleep as to read for anything but to improve his mind and morals, and regulate his conduct."
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Laurence Sterne
"Sciences may be learned by rote, but wisdom not."
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