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"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"
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"Roused by the lash of his own stubborn tail our lion now will foreign foes assail."

"Four years was enough of Harvard. I still had a lot to learn, but had been given the liberating notion that now I could teach myself."

"From here it sounds great to say we'll all get together soon, but all I know is this: you can call me fifty days or fifty years from now and I'll be glad to see you."

"Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid."
Explore more quotes by David Letterman

"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton."

"New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move."

"No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney."

"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"

"Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?"

"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either."

"It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said."
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