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"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"
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"Look, I am not worried about Washington cutting too much spending too fast. I mean, the kinds of spending cuts we're talking about just right now are $100 billion out of a $3.7 trillion budget."

"I feel SF is going through an experimental phase right now."

"Salary arbitration is probably in place - was put in place then and probably is in place now - because I supported it."
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"We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector."

"Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water."

"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."

"Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?"

"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."

"I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments."

"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either."
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