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"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"
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"What we need now is a Treaty of the World not a Treaty of Rome."

"Now the identification of individual sounds by phonetic observation is an artificial way of proceeding."

"I don't lose my temper very often now, and if I do, it's well deserved."

"We have our own reasons for what's motivating us right now."
Explore more quotes by David Letterman

"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"

"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton."

"Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed."

"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger."

"People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine."
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