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"If I go out to dinner with you and you order wine, I leave. I won't be around drugs and alcohol at all."
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"One can drink too much, but one never drinks enough."
"A good margarita, a good red wine, I like expensive alcohol, but not a lot of it. I don't like to throw up."
"Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity."
"I don't smoke marijuana anymore. I don't drink. Marijuana is a handicap. So is alcohol. Alcohol is a terrible handicap. But in spite of being a handicap, it shouldn't be criminal."
"I fought back, got injured again and I had to have another operation. I got down and depressed and I think I was drinking more than I should. Well, I know I was."
Explore more quotes by Penn Jillette
"I'm a big fan of huge populations of people, so you'd think with 300 million people in the country, you don't even have to please 1% to be phenomenally successful."
"One of the things that Teller and I are obsessed with, one of the reasons that we're in magic, is the difference between fantasy and reality."
"Every nut who kills people has a Bible lying around. If you're looking for violent rape imagery, the Bible's right there in your hotel room. If you just want to look up ways to screw people up, there it is, and you're justified because God told you to."
"We aren't people who believe that just because we're performers our opinions on everything need to be known."
"But it's much more exciting to make Die Hard. One of the reasons that I think that movie is so successful is it deals with those very important blue-collar relationship themes. But it's more visually beautiful to show things blowing up. It just gives you more on the screen."
"Before you can read, you know the difference between a story and reality. And, of course, by the time you're old enough to do any real damage with an Uzi, you've learned that difference."
"I'm a hardcore libertarian - I want everything legal - but I also believe that you have the right to free association."
"Janet Reno, during her confirmation hearings, said she would come down harder on porno, and lately she's talked about how violence on television has an effect on violence in the real world."
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