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"My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family."
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"The real beauty of a house is always the happiness inside that house!"

"We grow up opposing our parents only to become like them enough to oppose our children who behave as we once did-a reminder of how dreadful we were toward those now vindicated grandparents. And you thought God had no sense of humor."

"Grandchildren are their grandparents' toys."
Explore more quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

"For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors."

"Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door."

"The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house."

"If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck."
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