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Jeff Foxworthy

"My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family."

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"My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family."

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"Grandchildren are their grandparents' toys."

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"For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors."
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"What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do."
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"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did."
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"Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?"
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"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."
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"If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck."
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"Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door."
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"I really don't require a whole lot in life."
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"The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck."
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